Save Against Frostbite

Gangstas and Thugs

Who the fuck do these assholes think they are?  I can’t just say “idiocy of youth” and leave it at that, because more and more I’m seeing these buttfucking bastards in their twenty-somethings (and sometimes thirty-somethings).  Who do I speak of, you ask?


    I’m talkin’ about wannabe thugs; third-rate gangstas; suburban playas.  Basically, I’m talking about immature idiots imitating imbecilic icons of incarceration.  Okay...so that wasn’t so basic, but you get the point.
    My question to these douchebags is this:  What purpose does it serve you to be a destructive hoodlum?  You don’t live in the inner city where your people are kept down by ever increasingly racially biased law enforcement.  You don’t have to become a criminal to survive in the harsh environment known affectionately as “The Streets”.  You don’t even belong to an organized criminal association (not that that would be a forgivable reason either).  No, you just parade around town with your dewrag-topped head held high, stirring up shit and attacking bystanders with assumed impunity.  The only reason you have for acting like a complete cuntstain is that it’s “cool”.

 
    Well I’ve got news for you, asshat: You aren’t cool.  You are a pathetic insult to all that poor inner city kids have to deal with on a daily basis.  You are a worthless cumsplatter on the face of society.  Do you think real “gangstas” LIKE being on the ass-end of civilization?  Sure, there are a lot of rappers who sing about thug life, but do you think for even a second a single one of them likes it enough to give up their swimming pools filled with cash9 just to grab a Glock 9 and go bust some caps?  Are you a complete moron?


    Sure, there are some idiot rappers out there who glorify thug life (*cough* 50 Cent *cough*), but people who take these living afterbirths seriously belong in the same category as people who worship Satan because they started listening to Gorgoroth.


    So, if you are one of these specimens who believe you deserve respect and adulation for being a violent, sociopathic shit-for-brains, then kindly go drink a pint of Javex.  You will be doing us all a big favour.

-Pete The Frostbitten Aug 27, 2009

    Developmentally Delayed

Final Fantasy XIII; Star Craft II; and Grand Theft Auto 4.  What do these three games have in common?  Well, aside from the fact that they were/are being hyped more than Peter Molyneux’s sense of self worth, these games have all met with serious delays.  The question is:  Are delays a necessity in order to make a shitty game better for release, or is it all just polishing turds and taking your damn fool time to do it?
    In some cases, delays have done nothing to make a game that’s assumed to be good better.  In the case of Daikatana, three years went by and the finished product we got was a steaming pile of camel spunk.  Duke Nukem Forever is a joke played on all of us; not only did 3D-Realms sit on its hands for ten years before going tits up, but at this point who is even interested in this archaic franchise anymore?  If Duke Nukem Forever came out tomorrow with a price tag of $20, it still wouldn’t sell as good as a free kick to the nads.
    On the flip side, there are a few games which took the “It’s done when it’s done” route and came out shining like a sparkling fairy piss.  One of the most notable of these is Half-Life 2.  A vast, polished, and incredibly addictive game (if you’re into first-person shooters, that is), Half-Life 2 delivered to its fans exactly what they wanted.  Hell, I wasn’t even a fan of the first one, and I loved this sequel.  Of course, I wasn’t hopping up and down on my dick in anticipation for its release, either.  However; one game I was foaming at the mouth for which got briefly delayed was GTA4.  
Now, I don’t want to go sucking Rockstar’s dick or anything, but GTA4 is fucking brilliant.  Finally we have a somewhat believable story, with a realistic and relatable main character, and an eye-gougingly sweet physics engine in one of my favourite franchises.  Okay; granted the relationship mini-games are balls, and the loss of all that cool shit from GTA: San Andreas (*cough* planes, parachutes, and pedal bikes *cough*) was a bit of a blow to the series, but the significance of a major graphical overhaul on a series which has looked the same since its first incarnation on the PS2 is as enormous as Rosie O’Donnell’s left buttock.
Now that the fellating is over with, time to answer the question I posed earlier.  Are delays a good thing?  Simple answer:  Only if the company which is making the game is a juggernaut of gaming goodness.  I fully trust Square Enix to blow me away with their next Fantasy, and I am positive Star Craft II will kick a fuckload of  ass, but I would not trust a mediocre company such as, say, Koei to man up and make a blockbuster gaming experience if they put off releasing it for more than a year.  I say, if a gaming giant needs a little more time to tweak their art, let them.  In the end, we’re the ones who are going to benefit from it.

-  PeTe the Frostbitten

Here is a little something Pete wanted to share with you all.

That Guy

No matter who you are, or where you’re from, you know That Guy. In the carpool he’s the one who insists you stop at a specialty cafe instead of Tim Horton’s; on the hockey team he’s the guy who screams for you to pass him the puck, even if he’s not open; in the video store he’s the guy who insists you rent some foreign art film even though most of your group wants the latest Jason Statham beat-em-up; and in the gaming group he’s the one who forces the story to revolve around his character, no matter the consequences.

Luckily for me and the Frostbite boys, we haven’t had That Guy in our group in a long time, but many of you poor fuckers have to see this douchebag at least once a week. That Guy is only ever interested in himself, and as such sucks all semblance of co-operation from any campaign. Is your group in an audience with some gang leader, and the focus has been off That Guy for a couple of minutes? He’s probably going to jump up and shoot some poor cunt in the face, just for the attention.

There are several ways to deal with That Guy; not the least satisfying of which being to pour sugar in his hybrid’s gastank. However; if you’re looking for a few not so destructive ways to deal with this shitstack, here are a few suggestions:

1. Encourage other players to out-ham him. Once other people are competing for the spotlight, That Guy may become discouraged. He also may become angry because he’s a selfish prick, but at that point the GM can safely point out to him that the other players are only doing unto him as he does unto them.

2. Deus-Ex Machina his ass. It’s cheap, and a little dirty, but it’s always effective to counter That Guy’s exploits by having his outbursts have absolutely no effect on the game at large. This seem exclusivist, but that asshole has to learn somehow, right?

3. Okay okay, the last two suggestions were pretty passive aggressive. Might as well put that sugar in the gastank, huh? So how about having his actions have a totally unexpected effect? All you have to do is predict what this bozo is expecting to accomplish with his prickishness, and then make the opposite happen. This is gonna take some creativity on your part, but if you’re a GM and not up to a creative challange, you might as well just go play a first-person-shooter on your PS3 instead.

Hopefully, you already have a system in place for dealing with That Guy. Hopefully it doesn’t involve flaming bags of excrement and his $100 leather loafers. In the end, the choice on how you put up with this human herpes sore is up to you. After all, you can always just kick him out of your house.

-PeTe the Frostbitten

Just finished an interview with Jonathan from "kicked in the dicebag". Go check it out:

http://kickedinthedicebags.libsyn.com/

Sorry for the wait guys. There is a episode recorded and it has been ready for a bit. Sadly I have been in Wainright Alberta for the army and will not be back till Wednesday. So you guys should see the episode by Thursday.

Thanks for understanding.
Ryan

Sorry guys looks like you will have to wait another week.
Jumping right back to it is taking a bit more planning then I thought.

Plus Pete has taken off for the week and we didn't know. Can't really be angry at him either, I did leave the country for 2 weeks.

Trust me I'm doing all I can and you will have a new show up as soon as possible.

Sorry guys but I'm in Europe.

There will be no show this week or the next.

Then we will be back doing what ever it is we do.

Thanks for your patients and I look forward to getting something out there once I get back.