That Guy

Here is a little something Pete wanted to share with you all.

That Guy

No matter who you are, or where you’re from, you know That Guy. In the carpool he’s the one who insists you stop at a specialty cafe instead of Tim Horton’s; on the hockey team he’s the guy who screams for you to pass him the puck, even if he’s not open; in the video store he’s the guy who insists you rent some foreign art film even though most of your group wants the latest Jason Statham beat-em-up; and in the gaming group he’s the one who forces the story to revolve around his character, no matter the consequences.

Luckily for me and the Frostbite boys, we haven’t had That Guy in our group in a long time, but many of you poor fuckers have to see this douchebag at least once a week. That Guy is only ever interested in himself, and as such sucks all semblance of co-operation from any campaign. Is your group in an audience with some gang leader, and the focus has been off That Guy for a couple of minutes? He’s probably going to jump up and shoot some poor cunt in the face, just for the attention.

There are several ways to deal with That Guy; not the least satisfying of which being to pour sugar in his hybrid’s gastank. However; if you’re looking for a few not so destructive ways to deal with this shitstack, here are a few suggestions:

1. Encourage other players to out-ham him. Once other people are competing for the spotlight, That Guy may become discouraged. He also may become angry because he’s a selfish prick, but at that point the GM can safely point out to him that the other players are only doing unto him as he does unto them.

2. Deus-Ex Machina his ass. It’s cheap, and a little dirty, but it’s always effective to counter That Guy’s exploits by having his outbursts have absolutely no effect on the game at large. This seem exclusivist, but that asshole has to learn somehow, right?

3. Okay okay, the last two suggestions were pretty passive aggressive. Might as well put that sugar in the gastank, huh? So how about having his actions have a totally unexpected effect? All you have to do is predict what this bozo is expecting to accomplish with his prickishness, and then make the opposite happen. This is gonna take some creativity on your part, but if you’re a GM and not up to a creative challange, you might as well just go play a first-person-shooter on your PS3 instead.

Hopefully, you already have a system in place for dealing with That Guy. Hopefully it doesn’t involve flaming bags of excrement and his $100 leather loafers. In the end, the choice on how you put up with this human herpes sore is up to you. After all, you can always just kick him out of your house.

-PeTe the Frostbitten